Yes, it’s that time of the year again, as Getintothis’ Simon Kirk has you covered for all things Christmas and all things New Year.
Confession time, folks. Someone drew the short straw here. Christmas – well, it isn’t a certain someone’s favourite time of year. At all.
The time of year where people are fighting tooth and claw for the last turkey in the freezer aisle of ASDA.
The time of year where the politics of buying presents for relatives who you don’t see during the year (or years) comes to the fore.
The time of year where Michael Buble emerges from his cave to bore the tits off us. Granted, Shane Richie and Bradley Walsh have recently cornered his market, and I have to say, it’s welcomed!
Finally – and this is the big one – the time of year when Chris fucking Rea‘s Driving Home for Christmas haunts you everywhere you go.
Ahh, it’s enough to make your head fall off.
However… however. How-ever. We are here to bring you all you need to know about this auspicious (and let’s be honest, it is!) time of the year. What the goings on are. From piss-ups to quizzes. From bangers to riffs, we here at Getintothis have your back. Just don’t expect this cat to be breaking out Christmas jumpers and Santa hats, okay? Forever a Grinch someone will remain.
That’s the cynicism out of the way. Please, do keep checking back here. This page will be updated as events continue to be announced around the city, so while everyone’s planning their Christmas meals and all that business, we will be that crutch for your impending hedonism all whilst listening to Dennis Wilson’s Pacific Ocean Blues, or something else from the ’70s. That cool? Sound.
So… without further ado.
Winter Arts Market: Liverpool Cathedral, Saturday December 1
This year’s Winter Arts Market returns to the Liverpool Cathedral, offering shoppers the chance to buy handmade artworks, crafts and design gifts.
The event hosts over 200 independent artists, not limited to jewellery, original screen prints, paintings, tableware, decorations, textiles, photography, food gifts, and vintage clothing. It all kicks off from 7am and finishes at 10pm.
Christmas Cinema: The Baltic Market: Monday December 3, 10, 17
“Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal!” We had to say it at some point, didn’t we?
The Baltic Market will be showing Christmas classics every Monday in the lead-up to the big day. Furthermore, this event will be raising funds for local charities.
On December 3 it starts with Home Alone with proceeds going to Liverpool Samaritans. On December 10 it will be Elf and money raised will go to Papercup Project. Lastly, on December 17 it’s time for a bit of Love Actually with money raised going to Liverpool Cares. Get involved.
SoulJam Festive Funk: Constellations, Wednesday December 5
This will be Constellations last big Christmas bash before the big day (you can still duck in for a Christmas pint, though, we’re sure).
One for the disco, funk and soul devotees to get you in the mood for a busy time of year indeed.
Deep Cuts #22 Christmas Carnage (various artists): Jacaranda Phase One, Thursday December 6
What better way to kick off the Christmas gig guide by some barefaced self-promotion?
We won’t bang on about it too much other than, please come, it’ll be a boss night! As for the bill, a picture (above) tells a thousand words.
Spymonkey’s A Christmas Carol: Playhouse Theatre, Saturday, December 8 to Saturday January 12, 2019
Spymonkey are presenting a festive treat for all with a new adaptation of A Christmas Carol.
Put on your best Victorian bib-and-tucker as this is said to be filled with plenty of fun, thrills and madness.
Bido Lito! x Liquidation: Constellations, Wednesday December 12
The Bido Lito! annual quiz for all music geeks. Who are the favourites this year? Is there a rivalry? No, just beers and a few laughs, really.
Rules: a maximum of eight members per team. There are prizes and a trophy for the victorious team to boast for the next 12 months.
Tickets are four quid per person with the money raised to go to The Whitechapel Centre and MIND.
Piano Wars Christmas special: Camp and Furnace: Friday and Saturday, December 7 and 8
Two people behind two baby grand pianos battling it out to the tunes that YOU get to choose! There’s a live band, DJs and free shots for the best requests. That’s not all that’s free. The entry is, too.
Paul McCartney: Echo Arena, Wednesday December 12.
After playing the Cavern Club earlier this year, along with traipsing around his old haunts with James Corden, Macca is home for Christmas!
Those who splurged out on tickets for this, well, we hope you have enough money left over to put some presents under the tree. Either way, Paul McCartney, Liverpool and Christmas. Can one really go wrong?
Ya Nan’s Big Quiz Christmas Special: Camp & Furnace: Thursday December 6, 13
Another Christmas, another quiz with Ya Nan. There’s plenty of prizes. Probably Del Boy coffee mugs and Pat Butcher clocks, and various other prizes destined for the dustbin. There’s family fortunes, play your cards right, Cash Karaoke, the return of Blind Date, giant inflatables and confetti cannons. If you want a laugh and a few bevvies, then this one’s for you.
Free 90s Warehouse Rave Christmas Special: Hangar34, Thursday December 13
Rave classics? Trance anthems? Acid house? Kappa tracky bottoms? Hangar34 is the relevant source. If nostalgia and going wild is your thing, then you’ve just stumbled across your holy grail. Oh, and it’s free!
Winter Wonderland at The Spare Rib Burlesque: The Zanzibar Club, Thursday December 13
The Zanzibar Winter Wonderland show features The Spare Rib Burlesque & Cabaret.
Whilst the line-up is yet to be finalised, it’s worth noting that there will be fundraising for the Whitechapel Centre and Refugee Women Connect so take some extra coin for a good cause.
Beat It: Circo, Thursday December 13
In the run-up to New Year, Circo are putting on a house night which will be hosted by Darren Till.
Other DJs performing including Lee Butler, Ian Longo, Rob McPartland, and Circo residents. This event will also be raising funds for the British Heart Foundation.
Winter Wonderland: Bomed-Out Church, Thursday December 13 to Sunday December 23
St Luke’s “Bombed-Out” Church, will be turned into a Winter Wonderland up until the last Sunday before Christmas.
There’s plenty going on here to get you into the Christmas spirit. All the info is here.
Jack & the Beanstalk: Friday December 14 to Sunday January 6 2019
Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum… a giant of a panto comes to Liverpool this Christmas, starring Merseyside’s very own Shirley Ballas as Mother Nature and John Evans as Simple Simon.
Brought to us by pantomime producer, Qdos Entertainment, you can be sure of a pantomime packed with comedy and live music, not to mention that beanstalk.
Spirit of Christmas: Liverpool Philharmonic Hall, Sunday December 16 to Sunday December 23
The Phil’ will play host to some Christmas cheer in the lead-up to the big day. Yuletide music old and new, with classic carols presented by an array of artists and choirs, alongside seasonal readings from host, John Suchet.
Michael Head & The Red Elastic Band: Grand Central Hall, Saturday December 15
Well, this is turning out to be a bit of an annual pilgrimage for Michael Head & The Red Elastic Band, a la the ‘Bunnymen at the Philharmonic.
This is sure to be a stellar evening, with Mick playing all the hits and no doubt material from the excellent Adios Senor Pussycat. A bit like last year, but that’s fine by us.
Christmas Cinema Nights: The Palm House, Sefton Park Tuesday December 18 to Friday December 21
Christmas films? South Liverpool has it all going on with Sefton Park’s Palm House to show an array of your favourites.
Along with Home Alone, there’s Elf, Scrooge, The Greatest Showman, Die Hard, 20th with Muppets Christmas Carol, It’s A Wonderful Life and, of course, Nightmare Before Christmas.
Tickets and times here.
Sound Familiar Music Quiz & Disco: Camp and Furnace: Thursday December 20
With Christmas now full steam, this Camp and Furnace classic will get the Baltic Triangle pumping. If your head’s not ruined from Bido Lito’s quiz, then this one is will prove a worthy foil.
Shit Indie Disco Mad Friday Christmas Special: Arts Club, Friday December 21
Whilst many of you will be escaping the clutches of the office for the Christmas period, after you’ve had a few pints with your work colleagues, it’s worth sticking your head into the Arts Club for Shit Indie Disco.
Eyesore & The Jinx’s Office Christmas Party: The Shipping Forecast, Saturday December 22
Now, this is our of saucer of rat poison. Eyesore & The Jinx hosting their own Chrimbo party at that beacon for all curmudgeons, The Shipping Forecast.
La Vida Liverpool’s Christmas Fiesta: North Shore Troubadour, Saturday December 22
La Vida are hosting their first ever Fiesta, with a whole host of DJs from the north west, which include Esteban, Sie Austin, Jimmy Allen, Sean Hughes, Sean Finn, Lee Bullock, Gemma Arnott and Toni.
Disco, house, tech house and techno over two rooms. Can’t argue with that.
25th Anniversary Of Pele’s Sport Of Kings by Ian Prowse & Amsterdam: O2 Academy, Saturday December 22
While not Christmas, per se, Mr Ian Prowse and Amsterdam will sure add a bit of Christmas cheer to their 25th anniversary of Pele’s The Sport Of Kings.
Along with the Pele set, there will be Fireworks songs as well as Amsterdam and solo favourites.
Insomnia Christmas Eve: Circo Monday December 24
Circo is set to host Liverpool’s premier underground dance event, Insomnia. Void sound systems, decorations, led screens, Circo has it all.
The line-up includes Tony Hughes, Tekla, Lee Bullock, Wafer and more.
Power to the People Oldskool Christmas Party: 24 Kitchen Street, Tuesday December 25
Don’t fancy staying in on the big day? Well, there’s no rest for the wicked and 24 Kitchen Street is certainly that.
Mark Archer (Altern8), Mike Knowler, Sean Finn, Shea, and Mind, Body & Soul will be providing your quintessential acid house, techno and house from 10pm.
Craig Charles Boxing Day Blow Out: Camp and Furnace, Wednesday December 26
This one looks like the place to be on Bocco Day. Red Dwarf and BBC6 Music‘s Craig Charles brings us his Funk and Soul Club roadshow.
Joining Charles will be DJ Andy Smith (formley of Portishead) and Shaka Loves You!
Liverpool Disco Festival Boxing Day Special: Constellations, Wednesday December 26
This one’s always big because, well, Constellations know how to do Boxing Day!
This one will be filled with deep house, disco, funk, soul. Line-up to be announced.
Boxing Night Special!: Circo, Wednesday December 26
House anthems and mental entertainers? Circo has you covered.
Line-up includes a live performance from Abigail Bailey as well as special guest DJs Mick Willow, Liam Hincks not to mention the Circo residents.
Gimme Gimme Gimme Abba After Midnight: The Merchant, Wednesday December 26
Like it says on the tin, there’s all things ABBA here, folks.
For those who wish the bathe in nostalgia, well you’ll probably be at The Merchant on Boxing Day.
Camp and Furnace Boxing Night Party: Camp and Furnace, Wednesday December 26
Following Craig Charles, this is a celebration of sounds from 2 legendary Liverpool clubs, Quadrant Park and Cream.
Line-up includes an array of artists immersed in disco, EDM, house and R&B, Andy Carroll, John Kelly, Mike Knowler, Paul Rimmer, b2b, Mick Pluto, Allister Whitehead, and Shades of Rhythm.
Michael Versus Prince: Free Boxing Day Special: Baltic Triangle, Wednesday December 26
This one’s free, too!
Something Different: Meraki, Wednesday December 26
Meraki claim they are Something Different. They are probably right, too.
Line-up includes a three hour set from Lupe Fuentes, Tony Hughes, and Erik Christiansen.
Circus Christmas Special: Camp and Furnace, Thursday December 27
If you want to stay in on Boxing Day and recharge from all the carnage of Christmas Day then the Camp and Furnace is the place to be on Thursday.
Across three stage, Camp, Furnace and the Blade Factory, there’s house and techno all night long. It’s a jam-packed line-up which includes Yousef, Laurent Garnier, Hot Since 82 Nasser Baker, Lewis Boardman and many more.
NYE House Party: Camp and Furnace Monday December 31
So this one is billed for hipsters, goths and scals. Hmm, not sure what that’s all about but it sounds like utter chaos. If you want to bin off 2018 (to be honest, we really do!) then it might be worth considering this. The Shit Indie Disco guys will spinning discs, as well. Oh, and apparently there’s 100 slices of pizza free, too. Go figure.
Circus Presents New Year’s Eve: Arts Club, Monday December 31
If you wish to engage in the carnage of Seel Street on New Year’s Eve, then the Arts Club looks like the place to be. Local producer, Yousef, will be dropping his techno and house to punters to see in the New Year.
303 New Year’s Eve: Constellations, Monday December 31
Those wanting to escape the chaos of town along with isolation of house parties, then Constellations might just be the happy medium. Danny Howells will be making his 303 debut. This night will include everything from disco to house to, of course, techno.
Fiesta Bombarda NYE Intergalactic Carnival: Invisible Wind Factory, Monday December 31
It might be cold down on the waterfront at this time of year, but what the Invisible Wind Factory has in store will get your blood flowing to negate the weather with plenty of African, funk, jungle, and reggae in the shape of the Bombarda Mothership.
Celebrations include a one-time performance from the Intergalactic Karaoke Ensemble, a group comprising up of the Kazimier collective and Planet Earth’s greatest New Year’s Eve bangers! Other acts include Channel One, the Renegade Brass Band. More announcements to follow.
A Love From Outer Space Andrew Weatherall & Sean Johnston: The Merchant, Monday December 31
Perennial residents and night owners of A Love From Outer Space, Andrew Weatherall and Sean Johnston are bringing their “intrepid post-punk bombast with proto-house and that of acid-house” to New Year’s Eve.
If tech-house is a bit too much and Fiesta Bombarda is a bit too heavy, then your middle ground is right here.