If you’re lovelorn and alone this Valentine’s Day, then here’s Getintothis’ Cath Bore with songs to help you learn to love again.
A capitalist conspiracy to rob you of all your money, or a chance for sweet romance to bloom, bringing with it all the joys that compatibility and well-tuned sexual chemistry can bring? Either way, you can’t avoid Valentine’s Day, chocolates and love hearts and overpriced roses sure to wilt on the stroke of midnight.
Now there’s a metaphor for you.
The day – and night – is all well and good if you’ve got a squeeze lined up, but if you’re not feeling it and you’ve got no one to feel you, it’s a bit rubbish.
What about the heartbroken this 14 February? What do you get out of it? A sense of hollowness inside, and lack of self worth, that’s what.
Are you going through a bit of a dry patch right now? Maybe you’ve been hurt in the past and you’re fearful of moving on?
Well, worry no more. Getintothis today plays agony aunt, walking you those painful stages of grief to get over that lost lover who, let’s face it, was bad for you anyway.
Music soothes the soul and there’s a song for every eventuality. Join us, take what we say to heart and you will love again.
If all else fails, the least that will happen is that you’ll feel a bit better about being a sexless, celibate Miss Haversham this Valentine’s Day.
10. We’ll Sweep Out The Ashes – Gram Parsons & Emmylou Harris
Written by Joyce Allsup in the late 1960s, Gram and Emmylou recorded the definitive version of We’ll Sweep Out The Ashes on 1973 album GP. It’s the ultimate shag away the pain and lust song.
Whether getting under a new lover is the least painful way of getting over a previous one is debatable, but it’s certainly an option to consider.
9. All I Have To Do Is Dream – The Everly Brothers
Self-care never hurt anyone, and surely this is the best song ever made about Mrs Palm and her five lovely daughters.
Here, God fearing good ol’ Southern boys Phil and Don Everly, with bright shiny faces and homemade haircuts, deliver blood harmonies to perfection, and make the mind wander a bit.
8. Lunacy – Charles Howl
This is one to inspire you to walk away from that ex right now, you hear? If like Charles Howl‘s Danny Nellis in 2015 album Sir Vices, you’re thinking ‘why can’t you see, you make me feel on my own’ and ‘Why is it I can see all the people you’ve been with’ , then you need to find someone else.
No one wants to feel like this. Come on now. See sense. Walk out of the dark and into the light.
7. Stupid Things – Girl Ray
The daft things we do to impress a crush are reflected here by Girl Ray’s lyricist Poppy Hankin. ‘It was just to feel close to you/I’ve never done so many stupid things’, she intones.
An ideal opportunity to reflect on the foolish stuff love made you do, and resolve to be more sensible and organised next time.
6. In Dreams – Roy Orbison
We’re sailing into darker waters with this one. From one perspective, The Big O is never apart from his love, not really, not when he can just close his eyes and think of her. Aww, so romantic. Lovely, that. Bet he never looks at another woman, not once.
On the flipside, there are more sinister undertones to consider as heard on, say, Randy Newman’s Suzanne (‘when you go to the pictures, And I know you do, Don’t take no one with you, ‘Cause I’ll be there, too’).
Is In Dreams the ultimate tale of loneliness or a massive ode to obsessives everywhere? You decide.
5. Changed The Locks – Lucinda Williams
Now this is what we’re talking about. Here, on her third LP Lucinda Williams, a true Americana classic, Lucinda bins her ex, no bother at all. Ok, she changes her phone number, gets a different car, her clothes, and when that doesn’t work, she moves to a new town, but she gets over him eventually..
Be pro-active, take control. Be like Lucinda.
4. I’d Rather Be Dead (Than Be With You) – Glasvegas
There’s no mistaking what this melodrama is all about. Ok, Glasvegas’ James Allan’s bitterness seems to be on the increase as the song progresses, – the record it comes from Later…When the TV Turns to Static, full of emotional turmoil – but think big picture, broad brush strokes, and you’ll get there.
Ride it out. The pain will pass.
3. My Colander – Euros Childs
If you’ve had your heart bruised one too many times, or you simply spend a little bit too much time on your own, it’s helpful to know there are other alternatives available. With those new sex dolls that talk to you being quite expensive – so we understand – why bother with such things or indeed a real life human partner when falling in love with an inanimate object such as a kitchen accessory is just as satisfying?
Euros suggests this pain free if a little unorthodox solution on his latest long player, House Arrest...
2. Changes – Phil Ochs
We’re reached the stage of acceptance now.
Phil Ochs as a journalistic singer-songwriter had the skill to make his political words universal, and none so much as in Changes. Here he sings of the inevitability of change, the sadness of something ending, a natural close.
And final, memorable, beautiful kisses, lips softened by wine.
1. In Your Bed – Bat For Lashes
This is what we’re all aiming for. Hidden away on her 2016 album The Bride, Natasha Khan shows us the Holy Grail of relationships. What you, dear love-starved reader, should be striving towards.
Accept no substitutes.